The Clever Cat Eats Cheese And Breathes

Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It May Have Been Poisoned.

Buried My Wife The Other Day. Had To, She Died.

Sex Isn't Necessary. You Don't Die Without It, But You Can Die Having It.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

California Is The Only State In The Union Where You Can Fall Asleep Under A Rose Bush In Full Bloom And Freeze To Death.