The Average Vice-president Is A Form Of

An Actor's Popularity Is Fleeting. His Success Has The Life Expectancy Of A Small Boy Who Is About To Look Into A Gas Tank With A Lighted Match.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four.

Life, In My Estimation, Is A Biological Misadventure That We Terminate On The Shoulders Of Six Strange Men Whose Only Objective Is To Make A Hole In One With You.

I Was Just Working In The Shop And All Of A Sudden Something Just Triggered In Me, And I Started Shaking. And Then I Walked Back Into The House And My Wife Asked, 'what's The Matter?' And I Said, 'i Don't Feel Good.' And Tears, Uncontrollable Tears, Was Coming Out Of My Eyes And She Says, 'what's The Matter?' And I Told Her. I Said, 'i Just Thought About That Execution That I Did Two Days Ago, And Everybody Else's That I Was Involved In.' And What It Was, Something Triggered Within, And It Just, Everybody - All Of These Executions All Sprung Forward.

A Celebrity Is A Person Who Works Hard All Of Their Life To Become Well Known, And Then Wears Dark Glasses To Avoid Being Recognized.