I Learned Law So Well, The Day

Hush, Little Bright Line, Don’t You Cry You’ll Be A Cliché By And By.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four.

Vaudeville Could Not Vouch For The Honesty, The Integrity, Or The Mentality Of The Individuals Who Collectively Made Up The Horde The Medium Embraced. All The Human Race Demands Of Its Members Is That They Be Born. That Is All Vaudeville Demanded. You Just Had To Be Born. You Could Be Ignorant And Be A Star. You Could Be A Moron And Be Wealthy. The Elements That Went To Make Up Vaudeville Were Combed From The Jungles, The Four Corners Of The World, The Intelligentsia And The Subnormal.

He Dreamed He Was Eating Shredded Wheat And Woke Up To Find The Mattress Half Gone.

My Hometown Was So Dull That One Time The Tide Went Out And Never Came Back.