The Ability To Work Hard And Make

A Rental Car Is Basically An Ashtray On Wheels.

Stress Is Your Body's Way Of Saying You Haven't Worked Enough Unpaid Overtime.

The Children Are Our Future. And That Is Why, Ultimately, We're Screwed Unless We Do Something About It. If You Haven't Noticed, The Children Who Are Our Future Are Good-looking, But They Aren't All That Bright. As Dense As They Might Be, They Will Eventually Notice That Adults Have Spent All The Money, Spread Disease, And Turned The Planet Into A Smoky, Filthy Ball Of Death. We're Raising An Entire Generation Of Dumb, Pissed-off Kids Who Know Where The Handguns Are Kept. This Is Not A Good Recipe For A Happy Future.

Writers Tend To Work Early In The Morning, Or Late At Night, When Brains Are Naturally Able To Focus Deeply On One Thought. In The Middle Of The Day, Distractions Are Unavoidable. I Wonder If Anything Worthwhile Has Ever Been Written In The Afternoon.

As A Rule, I Don't Like To Laugh At The Misfortune Of Others. The Exception To That Rule Is If It's Really, Really Funny.