That's The First Thing They Teach You

Scientists Have Discovered A Black Hole That Is 12 Billion Times The Size Of Our Sun. It's Full Of Hillary Clinton Emails.

I Like Halloween. It Gives You A Chance To Dress Up Like Something You're Not, You Know? Like When The Miami Dolphins Put On Football Uniforms.

In Pop Culture News, Lady Gaga Got Married. And Yes, She Was Wearing White Meat.

President Bush Says He Is Looking Forward To The Testimony Of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, He Is Very Excited About Condoleezza Rice's Testimony Before Congress. Well, It Makes Perfect Sense - He Wants To Know What Was Going On, Too.

Asked By Reporters About His Upcoming Marriage To A Forty-two-year-old Woman, Director Roman Polanski Told Reporters, `the Way I Look At It, She's The Equivalent Of Three Fourteen-year-olds.'