Mayor De Blasio Wants To Eliminate Garbage.

It's Official, Arnold Said He Will Enter The Race For Governor. At Least That's What Everybody Thinks He Said.

Did You Hear About This Genius That Got On A Plane And Set Fire To His Feet? Turns Out He Had Bombs In His Shoes And The Problem All Started When The Flight Attendants Asked Him Nicely To Extinguish His Feet. He Was Wearing Exploding Sneakers. The New Nike Air-jihads!

John Kerry Says The 'w' In George W. Bush Stands For 'wrong.' But He Still Can't Explain What John Kerry Stands For.

Bad News, It's Going To Be A Huge Environmental Disaster, The Oil Rig Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico. The Good News Is They Think Now That The Oil Spill Will Be Diluted By The Melting Ice Caps.

As You Know Now, Rush Limbaugh Is The New Face Of The Republican Party, But They'll Probably Go With A Different Body.