That Woman Was Sexy. . . .

The Baby Will Talk When He Talks, Relax. It Ain't Like He Knows The Cure For Cancer And Just Ain't Spitting It Out.

I Almost Feel Like I'm Unoffendable Now. I Can Roll With Whatever.

If It's Not Bourbon Or Sweatpants, It's Going In The Garbage.... No, Don't Get Creative. Now Is Not A Creative Time. Now Is A Bourbon And Sweatpants Time.

My Parents Had Irrational Fears Of Mexico And Assumed That Once You Crossed The Border, Drug Runners Made You Swallow A Heroin Balloon And Then Within The Hour You Were In A Bathtub Full Of Ice And They Were Harvesting Your Kidneys.

When It's Asshole-tightening Time, That's When You See What People Are Made Of. Or At Least What Their Asshole Is Made Of.