I Was An Angst-y Journal Writing Kid.

Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered A Humor Writer, 'breakfast Of Champions' Is One Of The Funniest Books I've Ever Read.

You Go Ahead. I'd Rather Not Be Shot Out Of A Tube Into A Pool Filled With A Bunch Of Nine-year-olds' Urine.

The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Liar. . . . Okay, Fine, Yes, The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Nazi, But Then Number Two Is Liar. Nazi One, Liar Two.

Eventually, Though, I Came To The Conclusion That I Was The Male Equivalent Of A Toyota Camry. You Know: No One Ever Says, "i Have To Have A Toyota Camry." But Most People Who Spend Some Time In A Camry Start To Like It. "it's Pretty Reliable," They Think. "it Doesn't Have A Lot Of Problems, And It's Not Bad To Look At. You Know What? I'd Probably Prefer A Nicer Car. But I Can Live With A Camry.

I Almost Feel Like I'm Unoffendable Now. I Can Roll With Whatever.