You're Like A Tornado Of Bullshit Right

My Parents Had Irrational Fears Of Mexico And Assumed That Once You Crossed The Border, Drug Runners Made You Swallow A Heroin Balloon And Then Within The Hour You Were In A Bathtub Full Of Ice And They Were Harvesting Your Kidneys.

I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories About Growing Up With My Father And I Wanted People To Be Able To Enjoy Them Individually, But Also The Entire Book As A Whole.

[the] Majority Of The Girls Working There Had Major Emotional Problems. And Not Cries-too-much Emotional Problems; More Like Stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself Emotional Problems.

The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Liar. . . . Okay, Fine, Yes, The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Nazi, But Then Number Two Is Liar. Nazi One, Liar Two.

The Thing With Bill Shatner Is He Brings Something Unique To Everything He Does. He's Not The Obvious Choice For Anything, But He Always Brings Something Special To It.