Telling People At A Dinner Party You

We Live In The Worst Country In The World. At Least We Do For Lazy, Inefficient, Office-bound Police, Whose Response To An Extraordinary Rise In Violent Crime Is To Order More Speed Cameras.

Speed Focuses The Mind. It Cuts Through The Fog Of Drab Everyday Living And Keeps Us On Our Toes. Speed Works. Speed Saves Lives. Speed Is Good. And We Should Have More Of It, Not Less.

Sometimes I Stagger Even Myself With My Genius.

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.