Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

Never Try To Impress A Woman, Because If You Do She'll Expect You To Keep Up The Standard For The Rest Of Your Life.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.

What Would You Do If You Were President, And, On The First Day Of May, The Russian Ambassador Presented You With A Beautiful Cake Which Emitted A Curious Ticking Noise? Would You Plunge It Into A Pail Of Water - Thus Insulting Soviet Cuisine In General?