Stephen Hawking Is Getting A Divorce. That's

Now The Democrats Control The Senate. But The Good News Is That Now The Republicans Can Admit That Strom Thurmond Has Been Dead Since 1988.

Is It Me Or Is Bush Going Everywhere Kerry Goes? So Far In The Past Week, President Bush Has Followed John Kerry To Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; And He Follows Him To Portland, Oregon. The Only Place He Never Followed John Kerry Was Vietnam.

I Flew This Past Weekend. I Went Through Airport Security And Said To The Guy, 'is Everything Okay?' He Said, 'you Might Want To Have That Mole On Your Ass Checked Out.' That Seems A Little Personal To Me.

The Environmental Protection Agency Is Conducting A Seven-hundred-thousand-dollar Study To See If Alaskan Trees Are Polluting Oregon Forests. You Can Tell Republicans Are In Power. Pollution? It's Those Damn Trees.

You Know What The Bounty Is On Bin Laden? $25 Million. It Sounds Like A Lot Until You Realize The Texas Rangers Paid $250 Million To Get Alex Rodriguez.