Sometimes I Sit And Think And Other

I Don't Know How Old I Am Because A Goat Ate The Bible That Had My Birth Certificate In It. The Goat Lived To Be Twenty-seven.

Smile Well And Often, It Makes People Wonder What You've Been Up To.

I Use My Single Windup, My Double Windup, My Triple Windup, My Hesitation Windup, My No Windup. I Also Use My Step-n-pitch-it, My Submariner, My Sidearmer And My Bat Dodger. Man's Got To Do What He's Got To Do.

What's Scary In Life Is Not What People Know (or Don't Know), But What They Know That Ain't So.

Avoid Fried Meats Which Angry Up The Blood. If Your Stomach Disputes You, Lie Down And Pacify It With Cool Thoughts. Keep The Juices Flowing By Jangling Around Gently As You Move. Go Very Light On The Vices, Such As Carrying On In Society. The Social Ramble Ain't Restful. Avoid Running At All Times. Don't Look Back. Something Might Be Gaining On You.