Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In

I Have An Ulcer. It Has An Iq Of 185.

My Kitchen Is Not A Place To Live In. I Made It White So I Can Tell Instantly If It's Not Clean-and I Like It Clean Enough To Be Able To Eat Off The Floors-or The Tables,for That Matter.

The Dining Room In My Old House Was Truly Magnificent, But By Far The Worst Room For Conversation. I'd Get Up From The Table, A Very Long Table, And Somebody Would Always Say, Paul, I Never Got To Talk To You.

I Don't Know Who The Hell Paul Lynde Is, Or Why He's Funny, And I Prefer It To Be A Mystery To Me.

A Closet Full Of Wire Hangers Can Be The Most Dangerous Place In The World.