Some Say That He Has No Understanding

I Therefore Have To Use The Force. And Weirdly, This Doesn't Work Very Well. I Don't Understand Why, Because On The Last Census, I Put My Religion Down As Jedi Knight.

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'

Planet Earth Thought It Had £10. But It Turns Out We Only Had £2. Which Means Everyone Must Lose 80% Of Their Wealth

Does Anyone Really Imagine For A Moment That My Wife Gives Two Stuffs About Global Warming? She Certainly Did Not Appear To Be All That Bothered On Thursday Evening When, During The Great Carbon-saving Switch-off, I Ran Round The House Furiously Turning On Every Light, Hair Dryer, Dishwasher And Toaster.

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.