Some Dead People Said Smart Stuff.

Words Matter. Especially If You're Kicking Someone's Ass In Words With Friends.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

And Turkeys Are A Bird. A Very Nervous Bird. You'd Be Nervous Too If You Knew That One Day You'd Get Your Head Cut Off And... Filled With Stuffing.

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.

I Love Telling Stories And Acting And Entertaining People. I Don't Want To Make Fun Of People.