Nobody Can Tell Me What I Can

There Was This Whole Middle Time That Only Chris Rock Came Out Of, You Know, 10 Years Ago It Was Chris And A Few Other People, But That's About It. Chris Is In A Class Of His Own; I Don't See Another Comedian Who I Put In High Regard As Him.

I Have No Agenda, Nothing To Control.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

What Do You Do If You're In The Car And Your Girlfriend Touches Your Crotch Then Asks You To Remind Her To Get Kitchen Scissors?

I Am Stressed Because Once I Am Flattened Out So Thin To Be Able To Slide Under A Doorway, I May Never Be Able To Ever Be Unflattened So I Could Be Regular Sized Again.