A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even

You Learn Who Your Friends Are When You Find Out Who Will Lie For You.

I'm A Believer That When One Door Closes Another One Opens. But Why Does The One Opening Always Hit Me Full-speed-knob-first Into My Nuts?

Just Went To A Lovely Catholic Wedding. I Need A Drink. They Didn't Even Offer Us Water. Well They Did, But It Was Holy Water.

When You're Famous, You're Always Famous. It Doesn't Go Away.

My Favorite Dylan Song? I Think It's 'just Like A Woman.' It Always Makes Me Cry.