She Was Old Too, When She Went

I Tell Ya, My Wife, We Get Along Good Cause We Have Our Own Arrangement. I Mean, One Night A Week I Go Out With The Boys And One Night A Week, She Goes Out With The Boys.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

With My Dog I Don't Get No Respect. He Keeps Barking At The Front Door. He Don't Want To Go Out. He Wants Me To Leave.