Shamelessness Is A Wonderful Part Of The

Usually When Donald Trump Wants To Keep Someone Out Of Military Service, He Just Fakes A Doctor's Note Saying He Has A Foot Injury. It Worked Fine For Him During Vietnam.

People Would Say, "oh, You Say You Just Do Jokes." I Don't Just Do Jokes. I Do Jokes. Jokes Are Important. They Saved My Life When I Was Younger. Hopefully We're Making Things Nicer At The End Of The Day For People. That's The Entire Goal, And That's The Touchstone And The North Star For The Tone.

A Lot Of People Have Said, "oh, I, Boy, I Wish Hillary Clinton Would Just Go Away."

Truthiness Is Tearing Apart Our Country, And I Don't Mean The Argument Over Who Came Up With The Word. I Don't Know Whether It's A New Thing, But It's Certainly A Current Thing, In That It Doesn't Seem To Matter What Facts Are. It Used To Be, Everyone Was Entitled To Their Own Opinion, But Not Their Own Facts. But That's Not The Case Anymore. Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything.

When Meeting Royalty, It Is Very Important, No Matter How Excited You Are, Not To Vomit On Them. Instead, Vomit On The Nearest Commoner.