Raising Kids May Be A Thankless Job

One Of The Benefits Of Eating Salad Is That You Can Eat Tons Of It And Never Be Satisfied.

The Amount Of Guilt You Deal With As A Parent Is Pretty Profound. It's A Constant Balancing Act. I'm An Ambitious Person, But When I Became A Father, Ambition Had A Different Hold On Me. Providing For My Kids Was Important, But The Superficial Ambition Drifted Away.

I Really Don't Care About Birthdays. It's Something Where Even As A Kid, I Never Really Felt Comfortable When Someone Would Sing To Me.

I Always Imagine That If I Met Dr. Seuss, He Would Be Very Similar To Crispin Glover.

Bacon Is Like The Opposite Of Medicine. It's Like, "take That, Lipitor."