You Can Never Find The Right Bowling

I'm Closer To Bob Newhart Than Rodney Dangerfield.

My Whole Comic Persona Is That Of A Guy Who Explores The Id: I Romanticize Gluttony, I Romanticize Laziness, And People Identify With That.

I Guess The Reasons Against Having More Children Always Seem Uninspiring And Superficial. What Exactly Am I Missing Out On? Money? A Few More Hours Of Sleep? A More Peaceful Meal? More Hair? These Are Nothing Compared To What I Get From These Five Monsters Who Rule My Life.

I Have More Pictures Of My Children Than My Father Ever Looked At Me.

Well My Chocolate Is So Good I Could Sell It In An Obnoxious Prism Shape.