Quit Worrying About Your Health. It'll Go

Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children - It Leaves Your Midsection Unprotected.

Summit Meetings Tend To Be Like Panda Matings. The Expectations Are Always High, And The Results Usually Disappointing.

For Father's Day, My Kids Always Give Me A Bottle Of Cologne Called English Leather. It's Appropriate! To Them I Always Smell Like A Wallet.

I Don't Want To Say Anything About My Kids...but I Go To Pta Meetings Under An Assumed Name!

New Yorkers Are So Impersonal, If It Wasn't For Muggings There Wouldn't Be Any Contact At All!