Politicians Are Like Ships: Noisiest When Lost

Football Season: The Only Time Of The Year When A Man Can Walk Down The Street With A Blond On One Arm And A Blanket On The Other Without Encountering Raised Eyebrows.

Censor: A Self-appointed Snoophound Who Sticks His Nose In Other People's Business.

They Tell About A Fifteen-year-old Boy In An Orphans' Home Who Had An Incurable Stutter. One Sunday The Minister Was Detained And The Boy Volunteered To Say The Prayer In His Stead. He Did It Perfectly, Too, Without A Single Stutter. Later He Explained, "i Don't Stutter When I Talk To God. He Loves Me."

The Fact That We Don't Read More Books In America Can Be Traced Squarely To The Fact That We Have Newspapers That Are About A Hundred Times As Big As The Newspapers Anywhere Else.

Gross Ignorance Is 144 Times Worse Than Ordinary Ignorance.