Football Season: The Only Time Of The

Television, I Love It, Everything That Happened Before Television Lumped Together, Never Caused Folks To Turn On A Street To Stare At Me, Or Waitresses To Ask For Autographs.

I Can't Say This Too Often - That A Little Humor Can Make Life Worth Living. That Has Always Been My Credo. Somebody Once Asked Me, 'what Would You Like Your Epitaph To Be?' I've Always Said That I'd Like It To Be: He Left People A Little Happier Than They Were When He Came Into The Room.

Everybody Was Being Decent, And When People Are Decent, Thing Work Out For Everybody. That Has Been My Theory All Through Life. If You're Making Money, Let The Other Fellow Make It Too. If Somebody's Getting Hurt, It's Bad, But If You Can Work A Thing Out So That Everybody Profits That's The Ideal Business.

Oratory Is The Art Of Making A Loud Noise Sound Like A Deep Thought.

Most Of The Things That Are Supposed To Be So Objectionable In Books Are Things That Every Teenager, In The United States, Not Only Knows, But Has Talked About At Length In School, Or On The Way Home From School.