Policemen, Like Red Squirrels, Must Be Protected.

I'm Too Amused By The Way People Carry On To Give In To Despair.

Policemen, Like Red Squirrels, Must Be Protected.

It's All Any Reasonable Child Can Expect If The Dad Is Present At The Conception.

On Our Way Home We Were Waiting For The Bus When A Very Fat, Pompous-looking Woman Reeled Out Of A Pub Shouting, "melancholia? Ad Nauseam."

People Think I Write Fantasy, But I Don't; Some Things May Be Exaggerated Or Distorted In The Same Way That Painters Distort And Alter Things, But They're Realistic Figures. They're Perfectly Recognisable.