Overheard Today In Restaurant: Can You Stop

I Am A Ceiling Fan, Especially During Rain.

Swimming Is A Confusing Sport, Because Sometimes You Do It For Fun, And Other Times You Do It To Not Die. And When I'm Swimming, Sometimes I'm Not Sure Which One It Is.

I Think There's A Difference Between Making Comedy And Reporting Comedy. When You're A Joke Teller You Can Easily Fall Into The Second, You Can Show Up And Just Say The Jokes.

Dogs Seem More Photogenic Than Cats. In Photos Most Cats Look Like Sociopaths.

I Am What I Eat. And I Am This Especially When I Bite My Nails.