How To Be A Bouncer: Be An

I Want To Launch A Globe Into Space Just To Mess With The Astronauts.

A Large Portion Of The Earth's Land Area Is Taken Up By Old Varsity Jackets.

When A Dalmatian Sees A Cow He Must Be Like, 'what The Hell Happened To Him? I Am High Right Now. That Dalmatian Is Fat And Smeary.' When The Cow Sees The Dalmatian He Must Be Like, 'he Looks Amazing. I Am So Out Of Shape, This Is Ridiculous. My Tits Are On The Ground Here.

If I Make My Window Ten Days For Stand-up, The Conclusion Is That I Failed And That I'm Not Good At Stand-up. If I Make It Ten Years - If I Just Wait - The Conclusion Might Be Something Totally Different. I Think It's So Cool To Do Things In Which You Discover The Malleability Of Your Own Mind.

You Mock Those Who Blindly Follow The Majority...turn Your Attention Now To Those Who Are So Dedicated To Deviating From The Norm That They Would Gladly Cease Breathing If It Were Suggested To Them That Inhalation Was A Form Of Conformity; For They Deserve Just As Much Scrutiny And Ridicule.