Out Of All Artists, Authors Are The

We All Deserve To Be Congratulated, But Sadly That Would Mean There's No One Left To Do The Congratulating.

Cats And Their Owners Are On A Private, Exclusive Loop Of Affection. Thus Cats Have Become Symbolic Of A Community Eschewed And A Hyper-engagement With Oneself. They Represent The Profound Danger Of Growing So Independent In New York That It's Not Merely That You Don't Need Anyone - It's That You Don't Know How To Need Anyone.

Brits And Americans Have Hundreds Of Different Phrases For The Same Thing. Luckily, It's Usually A Source Of Amusement Rather Than Frustration. A Flashlight By Any Other Name Is Still A Torch. My Personal Favourite Is 'fairy Lights,' Which We Boringly Refer To As 'christmas Lights.'

I Thought I Was Going To Write Fiction But I Fell Backwards Into Non-fiction. It Started When I Got Locked Out Of Two Apartments In One Day And I Told The Story To Some Friends, One Of Whom Worked In The 'village Voice' And Asked Me To Turn It Into An Essay.

I Can Say With A Solid Degree Of Authority That I Am A Selfish Person. I Spontaneously Forget The Names Of More People Than Not, Unless I Want To Make Out With Them. I Will Take The Last Square Of Toilet Paper Off The Roll Without Thinking Twice. I Tip Taxi Drivers So Poorly I'm Amazed None Of Them Have Run Over My Foot While Speeding Off.