For A Long Time I Wanted To

There's Already A Marriage Clock, A Career Clock, A Biological Clock. Sometimes Being A Woman Feels Like Standing In The Lobby Of A Hotel, Looking At The Dials Depicting Every Time Zone In The World Behind The Front Desk - Except They All Apply To You, And All At Once.

You Feel Like Telling Him You're Not Single In The Way That He Thinks You're Single. After All, You Have Yourself. I Think A Lot Of Humor Is About Distracting Yourself. Pretend You're Not Trying To Make It Funny. Because For Some Reason The Effort To Be Funny Smells Like Sulphur In Our Culture.

New Yorkers Have A Delightfully Narcissistic Habit Of Assuming That If They're Not Conscious Of A Scene, It Doesn't Exist.

I Hope To One Day Co-sign A Lease With Another Person But, Well, It Doesn't Plague Me That I Have Yet To Do So. Put It This Way: I've Never Had To Violently Tug At My Own Pillow At 2 A.m. To Get Myself To Stop Snoring.

I Am Starting To Like La, But The Concept Of A Place You Have To Get Used To So Much Seems A Little Weird To Me. I Have Been To Many Foreign Cities Where I Didn't Have Do Acclimatize As Much As I Did To La