One Time I Saw An Old Man

A Sports Bar Is A Way To Take A Bar And Fill It With Even More Annoying People Than Usual.

You Know What's The Greatest Part Of Anything Ever In The History Of Everything? Exaggeration. No, Wait; It's Correcting Yourself. No, Better Yet, It's Making Lists.

When I Was A Kid, I Always Wanted To Live In California Because I Liked Skateboarding.

I Like Parties, But I Don't Like Piñatas Because The Pinata Promotes Violence Against Flamboyant Animals. Hey, There's A Donkey With Some Pizzazz. Let's Kick Its Ass.

I Love Women, But I Feel Like You Can't Trust Some Of Them. Some Of Them Are Liars, You Know? Like I Was In The Park And I Met This Girl, She Was Cute And She Had A Dog. And I Went Up To Her, We Started Talking. She Told Me Her Dog's Name. Then I Said, 'does He Bite?' She Said, 'no.' And I Said, 'oh Yeah? Then How Does He Eat?' Liar.