One Of My Daughters Told Me The

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

Funny Is Only Something That Others Know About You - You Can't Be Funny By Yourself.

That's A Sure Sign Someone Is Going Crazy - When He Refers To Himself In The Third Person, Talks In Low Tones, And Walks Around Wearing Shades All Day!

Women Need Food, Water, And Compliments That's Right. And An Occasional Pair Of Shoes.

I Just Remember That Whenever I Got Really Mad Or Passionate, Like In An Argument, People Would Laugh, And I'd Be Dead Serious. It Would Happen A Lot. So It Was Like, Gee, I've Got Something Here.