Men Do Not Settle Down. Men Surrender.

The Thing About Having An Audience Right There Laughing Is That Critics Can Write What They Want, But The Proof Is Right There In Front Of You.

Two Hours Of Sparkling Entertainment Spread Out Over A Four-hour Show.

Are They Real Fires? Or Are People Just Reacting To Something? Just Because There’s An Alarm Going Doesn’t Mean It’s A Fire. And I Think That People Are Confusing The Two. It’s Only A Fire When It Offends The Fans, And The Fans Turn On You. Tosh Has Fans, And They Get The Joke. If You’ve Watched Enough Tracy Morgan, You Let The Worst Thing Go By. When Did Tracy Morgan Become Walter Cronkite? You Have To Mean Something To Me To Offend Me. You Can’t Break Up With Me If We Don’t Date.

If You Told Me Two Years I Would Miss The Greatest Basketball Game Ever To Hang Out With Nathan Lane, I'd Say, 'you're Crazy!'

I Try To Stay With It And I Try To Stay In Contact With Comedians And Just Keep Comedians In My Life 'cause Comedians Are Their Own Species. If You Get Away From Them, Especially As A Comedian, I Think It's Dangerous.