Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'

The Last Time I Saw A Blonde With Red Streaks In Her Hair She Was Laying On Oscar Pistorius' Bathroom Floor.

The Thing Is, I'm Happiest When I'm On Stage.

Life Is A Movie, And You're The Star. Give It A Happy Ending.

My Obstetrician Was So Dumb That When I Gave Birth He Forgot To Cut The Cord. For A Year That Kid Followed Me Everywhere. It Was Like Having A Dog On A Leash.