Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without

Why Should I Cook For My Husband? So He Can Tell A Hooker I Make A Delicious Cake?

I've Learned From My Dealings With Johnny Carson That No Matter What Kind Of Friendship You Think You Have With People You're Working With, When The Chips Are Down, It's All About Business.

We Don't Apologize For A Joke. We Are Comics. We Are Here To Make You Laugh. If You Don't Get It, Then Don't Watch Us.

I Love Israel For Its Blue And White Flag As It Matches My Legs.

I Want To Be Buried In A Valentino Gown And I Want Harry Winston To Make Me A Toe Tag.