I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

Elizabeth Taylor's So Fat She Puts Mayonnaise On Aspirin.

How To Fool Yourself Into Feeling Younger: When You Go To Restaurants, Always Check A Coat And A Skateboard.

I Hate Housework! You Make The Beds, You Do The Dishes And Six Months Later You Have To Start All Over Again.

If Two People Want To Get Married, Get Married! The Victorians Had A Great Saying: As Long As It Doesn't Scare The Horses, Do What You Want. And I Absolutely Believe That.