Now All Of Us Can Talk To

For The Love Of God, Folks, Don't Try This At Home.

Recently A Guy Was Having Trouble With His Computer. So He Unplugs It, Takes It Out In The Alley, Pulls Out A Gun, And Shoots It Eight Times. Coincidentally, That's How Hillary Got Rid Of Her Emails.

I'm So Excited For My Son. On Christmas Morning I Want To See His Face, To Be There When He Opens The Gifts. I Want The See What My Assistants Got Him For Christmas.

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.

There's Already Been Some Trouble For Osama Bin Laden In The Afterlife. There Was A Mix Up And He Was Greeted By 72 Vegans.