I Just Heard George W. Bush's New

When I Was A Kid In Indiana, We Thought It Would Be Fun To Get A Turkey A Year Ahead Of Time And Feed It And So On For The Following Thanksgiving. But By The Time Thanksgiving Came Around, We Sort Of Thought Of The Turkey As A Pet, So We Ate The Dog. Only Kidding. It Was The Cat!

The New Cia Torture Report Is 6 Million Pages Long. It's Almost As Long As A George Clooney Pre-nup.

Today Coming To Work, I Saw One Of Those Only In New York Scenes. It Was A Rat Who Had Passed Out After Choking On A Pretzel.

There Is No Off Position On The Genius Switch.

I'm Nothing If Not An Optimist.