It's Official, Arnold Said He Will Enter

Hillary Clinton, Our Junior Senator From New York, Announced That She Has No Intentions Of Ever, Ever Running For Office Of The President Of The United States. Her Husband, Bill Clinton, Is Bitterly Disappointed. He Is Crushed. There Go His Dreams Of Becoming A Two-impeachment Family.

Have You Seen The Olympic Uniforms? It's For The American Olympic Team And It's Berets. To Me, Nothing Says America Like A Guy In A Beret. Look At Our Founding Fathers, They All Wore Berets.

You Know, Barack Obama The Last Ten Days Was Traveling Overseas Campaigning In Europe And Everywhere. It Was So Successful, Campaigning Abroad, That He Is Actually Thinking About Campaigning Here In The United States.

Everybody Was Upset That Vladimir Putin Was Missing. He Was In Switzerland With His Girlfriend. She Had A Baby In Switzerland Because In Russia Childbirth Is Not Covered By Putin-care.

The Weather Here Is Gorgeous. It's Mild And Feels Like It's In The Eighties. The Hot Dog Vendors Got Confused Because Of The Weather And Thought It Was Spring, So They Accidentally Changed The Hot Dog Water In Their Carts.