Never Trust Anybody With Only One Book.

There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather - Only The Wrong Clothes.

A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

Sex Therapist Claims That The Most Effective Way To Arouse Your Man Is To Spend 10 Minutes Licking His Ears!! Personally, I Think Its Bollocks!!

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"

If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be No More Folksingers.