A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

I Don't Believe In Angels, No. But I Do Have A Wee Parking Angel. It's On My Dashboard And You Wind It Up. The Wings Flap And It's Supposed To Give You A Parking Space. It's Worked So Far.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!

I Worry About Ridiculous Things, You Know, How Does A Guy Who Drives A Snowplough Get To Work In The Morning. ... That Can Keep Me Awake For Days.

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

Outgrew The Media... The Negativity Felt Like A Disease.