If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be

I Don't Understand Art-speak. My Pictures Are Big Doodles. I'm Amazed What People Come Up With When They Look At Them. There's One Of A Figure With Two Heads That Somebody Thought Must Be A Comment On The State Of Matrimony. None Of It Is A Comment On Anything.

For Me, It's About The Desire To Win. My Audience Becomes A Crowd Of Wild Animals And I Have To Be The Lion-tamer Or Be Eaten.

It's My Mind, And I Reserve The Right To Change It As Often As I Like.

Never Trust People Who've Only Got One Book.

The Religion In Scotland Is One Of The Most Patronising Things... After The Weather.