Never Trust People Who've Only Got One

What Always Staggers Me Is That When People Blow Their Noses, They Always Look Into Their Hankies To See What Came Out. What Do They Expect To Find?

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight, Don't Eat Anything Out Of A Bucket.

Ally Macleod Thinks That Tactics Are A New Kind Of Mint.

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.