Never Run With Scissors Or Other Pointy

A Lot Of People Are Too Easily Offended. Religious People, For Instance. They've Been Offending Other People For Centuries.

I Think Age Is Terribly Overrated. You're Okay As Long As You Don't Grow Up. By All Means Grow Old, But Don't Mature. Remain Childlike, Retain Wonder, The Ability To Be Flabbergasted By Something.

Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job. I Don't Come To Your Workplace And Tell You How To Sweep Up.

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

I Think Comedy Is Difficult, And I'm Amazed So Many People Want To Do It. I'll Be Buying Jeans And Somebody Will Say, "i'm A Comedian" - The Guy Selling You The Jeans. The Desire To Be A Comedian Is Weird. I Found It Weird Myself To Want To Be One; I Was A Schoolboy When I Wanted To Be One But I Didn't Know How To Do It. That Was 50 Years Ago, So Times Have Changed Greatly. There Seems To Be A Long Line Of People Desperate To Do It And Most Of Them Are Quite Good.