Never Marry A Girl Named 'marie' Who

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.

People Will Pay More To Be Entertained Than Educated.

How Much Of The National News That You Report To The Public Each Night Consists Of Information You've Actually Gone Out And Dug Up On Your Own?

Happiness Is Sitting Down To Watch Some Slides Of Your Neighbor's Vacation And Finding Out That He Spent Two Weeks In A Nudist Colony.

I'm Often Asked, "what Is Your Favorite Moment During The 30 Years You Hosted [the Tonight Show]?" I Really Don't Have Just One. The Times I Enjoyed The Most Were The Spontaneous, Unplanned Segments That Just Happened, Like Ed Ames' Infamous "tomahawk Toss" That Produced One Of The Longest Laughs In Television History. When These Lucky Moments Happen, You Just Go With Them And Enjoy The Experience And High Of The Moment.