My Wife Mary And I Have Been

When I Give Concerts, The Tickets Sell For Five Dollars To One Hundred Dollars, But For My Concerts The Five-dollar Seats Are Down In Front... The Further Back You Go, The More You Have To Pay. The Hundred Dollar Seats Are The Last Two Rows, And Those Tickets Go Like Hotcakes! In Fact, If You Pay Two Hundred Dollars You Don't Have To Come At All.

I'm An Old Newspaper-man Myself, But I Quit Because I Found There Was No Money In Old Newspapers.

Try Saving When Your Salary Is Low. So After Making More Money, You Will Not Be Able To Do This Anywhere

When You Talk About The World's Greatest Entertainer You Have To Say Al Jolson Because There Was No One Like Him. Only Judy Garland And Perhaps Frank Sinatra Got Anywhere Near Him!

Modesty Is My Best Quality.