My Wife And I Were Happy For

I Don't Get No Respect. I Called Suicide Prevention. They Tried To Talk Me Into It.

Hey, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?

I Drink Too Much. The Last Time I Gave A Urine Sample It Had An Olive In It.

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. He Told Me Never Take Candy From A Stranger Unless He Offered Me A Ride.