My Wife And I Have Olympic Sex.

I'll Tell Ya, My Wife And I, We Don't Think Alike. She Donates Money To The Homeless, And I Donate Money To The Topless!

I've Never Been Lucky. The Day My Ship Came In, I Was At The Airport.

My Wife's Jealousy Is Getting Ridiculous. The Other Day She Looked At My Calendar And Wanted To Know Who May Was.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.