My Wife And I Have Olympic Sex.

I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff. A Woman Called Me And Said, 'i Have Mirrors All Over My Bedroom. Bring A Bottle.' I Brought Windex.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.

When I Was 3 Years Old, My Parents Got A Dog. I Was Jealous Of The Dog, So They Got Rid Of Me.

I Can't Get No Respect.

Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Duck Under His Arm. Bartender Says, "where'd You Get The Pig?" Guy Says, "this Is A Duck." Bartender Says, "i Was Talking To The Duck."