My Heroines Are Always Virgins. They Never

Love Is Next To Godliness With Certain Safeguards.

I Always Wear Boot Polish On My Eyelashes, Because I Am A Very Emotional Person And It Doesn't Run When I Cry.

I Consider Myself An Expert On Love, Sex And Health. Without Health You Can Have Very Little Of The Other Two.

A Woman Should Say: 'have I Made Him Happy? Is He Satisfied? Does He Love Me More Than He Loved Me Before? Is He Likely To Go To Bed With Another Woman?' If He Does, Then It's The Wife's Fault Because She Is Not Trying To Make Him Happy.

The Reason Why Englishmen Are The Best Husbands In The World Is Because They Want To Be Faithful. A Frenchman Or An Italian Will Wake Up In The Morning And Wonder What Girl He Will Meet. An Englishman Wakes Up And Wonders What The Cricket Score Is.