My Health, Thank God, Has Kept My

I'm Very Shy So I Became Very Outgoing To Protect My Shyness.

I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted To Be A Better Player, But After A While I Realized I'd Always Stink. And That's When I Really Started To Enjoy The Game.

Asians Are Nice People, But They Burn A Lot Of Shirts.

What I Do Is, I Make Fun Of People And I Make Fun Of Myself And Things Around Us And Exaggerate Things. And I'm Never Mean-spirited. See, The Word Insult Means Some Guy Who's A Real Unkind Human Being. But I Don't Do That, Because Otherwise I Wouldn't Be Headlining All These Years, Thank God, And All These People Showing Up To See Me.

I Cannot Tell A Joke. But I Can Do A Situation, That It Becomes A Joke.