I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted

I've Never Gambled A Dime. Never, In All My Years In Vegas.

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

When You Enter A Room, You Have To Kiss His Ring. I Don't Mind, But He Has It In His Back Pocket.

I Don't Really Tell A Joke, I React To Situations. The Whole Thing Is Just Looking At Somebody And Showing All Our Weaknesses And Exaggerating Them, And That's How It Becomes Funny.

I Don't Feel An Obligation To Give Everyone A Hard Time, But When They're Important People, It's Fun.